Sunday 10 October 2010

Dental enforcement of Healthy Regimes

I have been trying to be more healthy. I mean all round more healthy - eating and exercise, yoga. You know the kind of thing. But somehow, quite often, I seem to be sitting on the sofa watching a dvd of Waking the Dead, eating homemade toad in the hole or a bar of chocolate. I have lots of 'Healthy eating' cookbooks but I still gravitate towards those familiar comfort food type receipes. The 'Dubai Stone' is not going to come off if I don't implement some sort of healthy food regime in my family cooking.

But I have found the perfect solution: arrange for one of your children to have a brace fitted! It goes like this: you take the child to see the dentist for a check up. The dentist refers you to the orthodontist who explains that said child needs a brace. She ensures that you are seated before explaining the cost of said procedures, and after you awaken from the fainting fit, you sign on the dotted line, and a series of lengthy dental appointments ensue. At no point does anyone mention that your entire family will be spending the next 18 months taking part in an episode of You are What you Eat!

It would appear that persons wearing braces are not permitted to eat anything that requires biting into hard foodstuffs. So, no crusty bread, including pizza crusts, no nuts, popcorn, hard vegetables (raw, that is), toast, anything very sweet, or just about anything that isn't baby-food soft. Ok, so that just about rules out every take away I can summon up in my very-experienced-with-takeaway imagination!

So, foods allowed are: soups, mashed potatoes, pasta, rice, steamed vegetables and anything that can be broken into small pieces, mashed, squashed or pureed. Oh, goodey! So, from now on my house will become a shrine to healthy eating - steamed veg with rice, pasta with sauce, soups (no croutons or crusty bread, of course). You will, literally beable to see the weight loss from where you are sitting. So, watch this space!

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