Wednesday 10 November 2010

Erm...is this 1953?

So, I have to go food shopping today. I hate it. With a passion. So, the only possible way to make this tolerable is to entice a friend along with the offer of breakfast so we can chat whilst we are shopping. So, an hour into this exciting and stimulating activity I get a text message: 'Breakfast at Paul's eh - very nice'. It would appear that not only is our bank sending my husband text messages when I draw cash out of our JOINT bank account (note the word JOINT - an account into which MY salary is paid), but the bank are now sending him a text message every time I buy something!!! Would all those persons who have not heard of the sexual revolution please raise their hand???? I mean what is this, 1953?

The whole episode reminded me of an article I read in the newspaper (and kept for posterity) just after we moved here. It was entitled 'Recommendations Family Guidance and Reformation Dept at the Dubai courts gives to newly married couples'. Now these may be for newly married couples but I think, in the choicest parts of this, there is a message for old timers as well.  I repeat those parts here for your perusal:

Recommendations to Wives:

1. Men are different from women (no shit Sherlock!)
2. Men are not talkative, so don't nag
3. Men like to be the focus of a woman's attention so don't ignore them or make them feel unwanted
4. Men, by nature hate failure, so don't criticise them
5. Men are capable of solving problems, so don't impose your thoughts on them
6. Men don't shop that much and they like a contented woman, so don't be too demanding
7. Men like a woman who can satisfy their desires, so shower them with love and care as well as appreciation

Recommendations to Husbands:

1. Women are different from men (you don't say!)
2. Women like a man who flirts with them and satisfies them sexually
3. Women like shopping and spending money, so don't be a miser. try to offer her gifts and invite her out frequently.
4. Don't think of committing adultery because it is very harsh on a woman's feelings.
5. Women's moods and attitudes change during pregnancy and menstruation so take this into consideration
6. Women need a man to trust and rely on, so don't disappoint her.
7. Women like to talk about themselves, so don't criticise them.

Please be assured that this is a genuine article from a 2008 newspaper- I have not made this up. There are sooo many things wrong with this, I don't know where to begin! Is it any wonder that the divorce courts are so busy here???

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